The Adventures of Darwin review

How stupid is it that it took a scientist like Charles Darwin to come up with the ultra-common sense theory of Natural Selection? Was it really so tough to guess that, if you have an alligator with teeth and another alligator with no teeth, the first one is going to get the steak and have babies and the other is going to die? Unfortunately, it’s similarly tough to believe that The Adventures of Darwin, a squad-based action title that has you commanding a small army of monkeys trying to evolve into cavemen, is just now coming out – it’s not a horrid game, but it should have hit stores years ago.

You are Darwin, a monkey on a quest to discover things and evolve and hopefully keep a nightmare you had about your monkey village being destroyed from coming true. You do this by wandering around with a small army of buddies, killing and eating any animals you see and dragging anything you find that isn’t alive – especially metal, rocks, and wood – back to your village.

Over time, as you explore more areas and bring back more and more stuff, your village and its people evolve. You obtain spears, arrows, and axes, gain more and more monkey men for your army, learn new marching formations, kill bigger and bigger enemies, and… that’s about it.