Facebook is Making You Look Like a Terrible Gamer

Maths are hard — even for fancy pants algebra majors in Northern California. Apparently the Facebook algorithm for figuring out which games your friends are playing (and then spamming it all over the home page for your convenience) is broken. And because of this mathematical error all of your internet "friends" think you have been playing Dirtwheel: Get That Dirt In The Wheel or some such shitty game for the past however many months.

I don't care if my mom knows I play Robot Unicorn Attack for nine hours a day (have you guys played Evolution yet? PANDAS!) but I do care if my peers think I'm playing some stupid pirates who collect stupid shiny things game for even five minutes. I'm prideful.

So, at the risk of cross-pollinating platforms I'm going to list the ten games I would be most embarrassed to have my facespace friends think I am playing. Even if I do actually play some of these. I will let you guys guess which ones.

1. Sorority Life (DO NOT GUESS THIS ONE YOU WILL BE THE WRONGEST)

2. Farmville (your mom plays this)

3. Texas Hold'em Pokerzzzzzzzzzzzzsnzzzzzz

4. The Sims

5. Anime Magical Dress Up Girl

6. Twisted Metal (the Juggalo-iest game for the Juggalo-iest of people)

7. Alice Madness Returns (I am embarrassed at how much I love this game)

8. Madden. Any Madden.

9. Mafia II (the poor man's LA Noire which is the poor man's LA Confidential which is a movie but whatever it's still a better game than LA Snoirez)

10. Dark Star One : Broken Alliance (I don't want to talk about it. Ever)