British Prime Minister David Cameron has been making headlines lately for all the wrong reasons. We won’t go into it here, but suffice it to say, he made a pig’s ear of his college years. Either that or someone’s being telling porkies. Either way, we’ve decided to go the whole hog and round up the best porkies in video games.
The four footed beasts are surprisingly common in games, and more than a few have developed the ability to talk. Just think about that the next time you’re munching on a delicious meat feast pizza. From Angry Birds’ arch-rivals to the ever helpful Pey’j in Beyond Good & Evil, here are the top 10 pigs in video games.
No one knows what started the ham-fisted war between bird and pig, who, as we all know, are natural enemies. Led by the innovatively titled ‘King Pig,’ Rovio’s green pigs endlessly seek out unhatched eggs to cook and eat.
I don’t know about you, but being green is probably the best bet they have of not being eaten themselves. Green bacon, anyone? Although if it tastes the same…
The original odd couple, Colin is a roommate of The Wolf Among Us protagonist Bigby Wolf and one of the three little pigs. Crashing on Bigby’s wolf, Colin gives out sage advice and somehow avoids becoming pork chops by smoking, drinking, and talking too much.
I’d probably do at least two of those things if the Big Bad Wolf blew down my house too.
This giant alien pig is something of an enigma, with much of his history remaining a mystery. We do know that Wizpig got bored one day and decided to conquer his own planet, presumably after reading Animal Farm and deciding that Napoleon just wasn’t ambitious enough.
Sadly, the Future Fun Land he created soon grew boring too but not to be deterred, our villain soon turned to racing. The only problem is he has to be shrunk down to fit in a car.
The game’s main enemies, they’re located through the facility and the city, serving as the former’s workforce. Protagonist Oswald has no defence against them, and must use stealth and wits to escape them. While they only patrol certain areas, they will pursue Oswald relentlessly if the lantern is shone upon them. Thankfully, the lantern also flickers if an enemy is nearby, working as an early warning system, and looking at any of the manpigs has no effect on Oswald’s sanity.
Another imaginatively titled entry on this list, Manhunt’s Piggsy wouldn’t make a good breakfast, as he’s actually a middle aged man who suffers severe psychological issues and eats his many victims, who he ruthlessly kiss with his chainsaw.
Having lost all connection to reality, his speech is limited to a few basic words and the squeals and grunts of a pig.
Another disturbed entry on this list, we have no idea who Pighead is. We know he’s male and believe that he’s one of Jigsaw (the Saw franchise’s villain) apprentices but he never speaks and his mask is never removed, even after his death.
Pighead kidnaps protagonist David Tapp and inserts a key into his chest before leaving him in an abandoned asylum. The key can be used to release Pighead’s other victims, but only if they rip it out of Tapp’s chest first.
This greedy pig will stop at nothing to earn a pay check and will turn on his ‘friends’ in an instant. He’s also sadistic, as you’ll no doubt have noticed many entries on this list are, claiming, "Daddy screamed real good before he died!" Another example is his wholehearted attempt to shoot down former ally Peppy without hesitation.
It’s not uncommon for cops to be called derogatory things, and id Software decided to go a whole step further by making Pig Cops the mutated version of the LAPD. This enemy has the most permutations in the game and is first encountered during the Hollywood Holocaust mission of L.A. Meltdown. The Pig Cop only appears in the game’s Earth-based levels, but there are two corpses in Dark Side during Lunar Apocalypse.
Will we ever see more adventures of Pey’j and Jade? It seems unlikely, sadly. Regardless, Uncle Pey’j was named Jade’s caretaker in 2415 and built the Lighthouse Shelter on Hillys, where the duo moved that same year.
Though reluctant to overcome his fears, Pey’j helps our heroine whenever possible and the Jet-Boots are just one example of the many inventions he’s poured countless hours into.
The alternative form of Ganondorf, and the Legend of Zelda series’ primary antagonist, Ganon is the ultimate personification of evil and possesses immense magical and physical powers, not to mention near-immortality.
Ganon is always depicted as a boar, but the method by which he assumes that form and his appearance varies between appearances.
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