South Park: The Stick of Truth – Equipment [Guide]

South Park: The Stick of Truth features plenty of equipment in the form of
both weapons and armor that can be collected over the course of the game by
looting enemies, defeating special enemies, and finding them in treasure
chests. There are some that are missable as well, so use this guide to find
every single piece of equipment in South Park: The Stick of Truth!

Having troubles with the main quest? Look no further:

South Park: The Stick of Truth [Guide]

For other collectables in the game, use this guide:

South Park: The Stick of Truth – Collectables Guide

Some of the equipment require that you complete side quests that are in the
game. For more information on the side quests, use this guide:

South Park: The Stick of Truth – Side Quests [Guide]

South Park: The Stick of Truth – Equipment Guide
Written by Dalton “HorrorSpooky” Cooper and Trade
Copyright 2014

The *ONLY* sites that have permission to use this guide are CheatMasters.com
and GameFAQs.com. IF YOU SEE THIS GUIDE ON ANY OTHER SITE, PLEASE INFORM ME, AS IT DOES NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO BE THERE!!!

Contact Information
E-mail: [email protected]

Legal Information
- – – – – – – – -
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respective trademark and copyright holders.

===================
=TABLE OF CONTENTS=
===================
1. Day 1 Missables
2. Day 2 Missables
3. Day 3 Missables
4. Purchasable Items
5. All the rest

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1. Day 1 Missables
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These are the pieces of armor and the weapons that you MUST collect during
your first day of South Park. These are all MISSABLE ITEMS. So please follow
this guide EXACTLY so you don’t miss any of the weapons or armor that are
available in the game.

Throughout the course of the game, you will want to pay special attention to
yellow chests. Some of these weapons have to be looted off of enemies or
obtained by other means, but yellow chests typically have weapons and armor
inside of them, as well as other goodies.

=========
DODGEBALL
=========
Location: School
During the quest where you are supposed to break Craig out of detention, you
will come to a hall with a payphone that you can shoot and a hall monitor
walking around here.

Defeat the hall monitor in battle. Alternatively, you can shoot the phone to
make him walk over to the phone, and then knock over the pile of chairs by
the phone to crush him and avoid ever having to do a traditional battle with
the dude. At that point, loot his body to get the dodgeball.

===================
MACE OF RESTORATION
===================
Location: School
After defeating the leader of the hall monitors, you can loot his body for a
key. Be sure to do this BEFORE GOING INTO THE CAFETERIA, because going into
the cafeteria ends the quest and then you won’t be able to get the Mace of
Restoration!

Anyway, after looting his body, go down the hall a bit, the way that you
came when you first went through this hall and found that Mr. Mackey had
locked the door. There is a locker that is locked here (you probably attempted
to open it during your first trip through the school). The key that was on
the hallway monitor opens it. Loot his locker to get this weapon.

===============
WOOD ELF GLOVES
===============
Location: Inn of the Giggling Donkey
During this section of the game, you have to move through the attic area. To
do this, have Kenny seduce the elf that is hanging out in the attic. In the
attic, it is very tempting to just bypass the elf here and continue through
the hole into Jimmy’s room, but DON’T do that.

Instead make sure you loot the elf that is up here. He has the Wood Elf
Gloves on him.

============
WOOD ELF CAP
============
Location: Jimmy’s Room, Inn of the Giggling Donkey
After beating Jimmy, you have to talk to Cartman to leave. Do not talk to him
just yet. Instead loot the yellow chest that is sitting on his dresser.

==================
CRUTCH OF WEAKNESS
==================
Location: Jimmy’s Room, Inn of the Giggling Donkey
Loot Jimmy after you defeat him to get this weapon.

============
ALIEN HELMET
============
Location: Probing Room, Alien Space Ship
To get this helmet, loot the purple chest that is located behind the table
that Randy is being probed on.

=============
ALIEN RAY GUN
=============
Location: Alien Space Ship
The first aliens you can fight on the ship can be bypassed if you don’t want
to fight them…but believe me, you want to fight them. Defeating them will
get you this missable weapon.

==========
ALIEN SUIT
==========
Location: Alien Space Ship
Loot the purple chest that is to the left of the elevator that you ride down.

============
ALIEN GLOVES
============
Location: Alien Space Ship
In the room that is to the left of the elevator will be aliens to battle.
Defeat them and loot their bodies. The officer alien will have these on him.
Do note that the officer alien is the suited alien that is not quite as
powerful as the Chief of Security alien whom you also fight during this
battle.

===========
TINFOIL HAT
===========
Location: Alien Space Ship
There is a ladder located in the center of the room that is located right
outside the probing room where Randy is getting probed. The ladder will reveal
itself to you during your second trip through this room, which will be to
free Randy from the probing machine after you’ve successfully lowered the
forcefields by completing the Simon Says style puzzles.

Anyway, climb the ladder to the bottom deck. Go to the right and you can see a
space hobo hiding in the junk. Confront him and defeat him in battle to get
this piece of armor.

===========
ALIEN PROBE
===========
Location: Alien Space Ship
The purple chest that you have to loot to get this is located to the left of
the probing room, near the elevator that you have to use in order to get to
the cockpit and escape the ship.

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2. Day 2 Missables
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Your second day in South Park is full of missable items as well, in both the
weapon and armor categories. Don’t miss a single piece of armor or a single
weapon in the game using this guide. Remember that the weapons and armor
listed below are listed in the order that you can obtain them. Make plenty of
saves and be sure that you do not continue past the points listed until you
have all of the weapons and armor you need.

============
STONE HAMMER
============
Location: “Taco Bell” Roof
When you use the alien anal probe teleportation device to get on the roof of
the “Taco Bell”, you will see a yellow chest up here. Loot that chest before
going through the air vent.

=====================
SWAT ARMORED HEADGEAR
=====================
Location: “Taco Bell”
Defeat the Nazi Zombie. There will be two SWAT soldiers that are dead on the
floor. Loot their bodies as well before leaving.

====================
SWAT TACTICAL GLOVES
====================
Location: “Taco Bell”
Loot the dead SWAT members in “Taco Bell” after defeating the first Nazi
Zombie in the game (not counting the space hobo).

=========
SWAT VEST
=========
Location: “Taco Bell”
Loot the dead SWAT members that you find in “Taco Bell” after defeating the
Nazi Zombie. In case you didn’t notice, all three of these SWAT items will be
found on the same dude.

==========
BASKETBALL
==========
Location: School
During the quest “Attack the School”, which is a quest that is full of
missable everything by the way, go to the right of the cafeteria “IN” and
“OUT” doors. There will be an unconscious enemy. Loot their body for the
Basketball ranged weapon.

==================
NECROMANCER GLOVES
==================
Location: School
Shortly after the cafeteria section, you come to a hallway. Defeat the
enemies here and loot them all. Really you should be able to get out with all
of the missable weapons/armor if you just fight and loot everybody that can
be found in the school.

=================
NECROMANCER ROBES
=================
Location: Basement, School
In the room where you can access the boiler room, with the green gunk on the
ground, there will be three Nazi Zombie Gingers. Defeat them and then loot
them to get the Necromancer Robes.

================
NECROMANCER HOOD
================
Location: School
On the second floor of the school, after you go through the basement area,
you will find your friends being attacked by the enemy team, whether they be
humans or elves. Fight and defeat them. Loot them.

============
GNOME GLOVES
============
Location: Bedroom, Your House
When you go to bed on the night of the second day, you will wake up and
have to battle the Underpants Gnomes. Beat them and then loot the ones that
remain in your room to get the gloves.

============
GNOME HELMET
============
Location: Wall, Your House
After entering the mouse hole in your bedroom, climb the first set of blue
wires that you see and go all the way to the right. You will find a yellow
pouch here. Loot the pouch to find the helmet.

=================
SUPER BOUNCY BALL
=================
Location: Wall, Your House
The Super Bouncy Ball weapon is actually found in the same yellow pouch as
the Gnome Helmet. No way you can grab the Gnome Helmet and miss the Super
Bouncy Ball.

=============
GNOME CLOTHES
=============
Location: Wall, Your House
Move through the vent after you first see your parents having sex. Then go
to the left and you’ll find batteries that are producing dangerous electrical
charges. Wait for the electricity to die down, and then continue left to
find the Gnome Clothes in another yellow pouch.

=============
GNOME PICKAXE
=============
Location: Wall, Your House
The final yellow pouch within your walls can be found after the battles with
the three rats. Before climbing the final set of wires to reach the dresser,
the yellow pouch will be in plain sight, to the right of the wires. Loot it to
get this weapon.

===================
UNDERPANTS “HELMET”
===================
Location: Parents’ Dresser, Your House
On your parents’ dresser, you get into a fight with more gnomes. Defeat the
gnomes and loot their bodies before proceeding. One of the dead gnomes will
have the Underpants “Helmet” armor on his body, ripe for the looting.

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3. Day 3 Missables
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=============
MONGORIAN BOW
=============
Location: Tower of Peace
You can technically get this in day 1 or day 2. It is missable because you
can choose to not fight the kids on the second floor of the Tower of Peace
while doing the side quest “Mongolian Beef” for Mr. Kim. So when doing the
side quest, just make sure you fight every kid you see and LOOT THEIR BODIES.
Do not leave the Tower of Peace without this weapon. I recommend doing this
in day 3 simply because it makes it way easier to defeat the boss battle at
the top of the tower.

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==============
POISON GRENADE
==============
Location: Unplanned Parenthood
During the quest “Recruit the Girls” when you’re inside of Unplanned
Parenthood, loot the dresser in between the records room and the operationg
room. There you will find the Poison Grenade.

============
MASTER RAZOR
============
Location: Unplanned Parenthood
At the part of the quest where you have to shrink down and go through the
mousehole in the Records Room, you will come across some Nazi Zombie Rats and
Nazi Zombie Gnomes. Just beneath the pile of insulation that the gnomes are
standing on is the pouch you need to loot for this weapon.

=========
LAWN DART
=========
Location: Clyde’s Fortress
In the final stretch of the game, smash through the front gates of Clyde’s
Fortress. There is a yellow chest underneath the balcony that the “cyclops”
kids are standing on.

================
KNIGHT GAUNTLETS
================
Location: Clyde’s Fortress
Speaking of those Cyclops kids, make sure you defeat and loot them because one
of them will have this armor on them.

=============
KNIGHT HELMET
=============
Location: Clyde’s Fortress
When you get to Ike being beat up by a Cyclops, defeat the Cyclops kid by
farting into the lighter next to the firework. Then loot his body to get this
piece of equipment.

============
KNIGHT ARMOR
============
Location: Clyde’s Fortress
Upon defeating Craig in Clyde’s Fortress, climb up the ladder and then loot
the yellow chest that is to the left of the stairs you have to climb to go
face Clyde.

==========
CONDOM CAP
==========
Location: Mr. Slave’s Ass
When you get to the flashlight inside of Mr. Slave’s ass, you will have to
turn it on to wake up a bat. There is a yellow chest in plain view that the
bat is hanging in front of. Loot it to get the Condom Cap.

==========
VIBROBLADE
==========
Location: Mr. Slave’s Ass
Mr. Slave will get a phone call from Big Gay Al on his iPhone, which,
naturally, happens to be lodged very deep inside of his ass. Beyond the phone
is a Nazi Zombie Mutant Bacteria enemy. Defeat it and then loot its remaining
goo to get the Vibroblade weapon, which is a very powerful weapon that you
should use in these final parts of the game.

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4. Purchasable Items
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Not all of the weapons and armor can be found out in the world of South Park.
Some of them have to be purchased from shop owners. All of the shop owners
are accessible at any point after you’ve completed the main quest, so you do
not have to worry about missing any more equipment while you’re trying to
get these achievements/trophies.

However, buying all of these weapons and all of this armor is going to cost
quite a bit of money. It’s a good thing then that you can actually sell the
weapons and armor that you’ve obtained so far and they will still count
toward the achievement. If you want to keep track of which sets of armor and
weapons you’ve collected so far, go to the Collectables tab in the profile
menu and then go over to the “Equipment” tab that is inside of that one.

=====
BANFF
=====
Shop Owner: Banff Canadian
Equipment:
Bishop Gloves
Bishop Mitre
Bishop Vestments
Dire Scepter (if you chose to kill the Bishop, loot this off his body)
Holy Mossad Knife

================
COMMUNITY CENTER
================
Shop Owner: Mr. Mackey
Equipment:
Batdadarang
Cheese Costume
Cheese Gloves
Cheese Helmet
Rod of Major Boobage

=============
ELVEN KINGDOM
=============
Shop Owner: Jason
Equipment:
Battle Bow
Elf Blade
Elvish Longbow
Longbow
Ministrel’s Cap
Ministrel Glove
Ministrel Uniform
Monk Cap
Monk Gloves
Monk Robes
Raider’s Blade
Recurve Bow
Sword of Endings
Woodsman Armor
Woodsman Cap
Woodsman Gloves

==============
GIRLS’ HIDEOUT
==============
Shop Owner: Red
Equipment:
Chakram
Fairy Princess Blade
Fairy Princess Bow
Fairy Princess Mittens
Fairy Princess Robes
Fairy Princess Tiara
Knead-ring the Dough Hammer
Leather Armor
Leather Gloves
Leather Hat
Stupid Spoiled Whore Clothes
Stupid Spoiled Whore Gloves
Stupid Spoiled Whore Hat

============
JIMBO’S GUNS
============
Shop Owner: Jimbo
Equipment:
Crossbow of Impalement
Gas Mask
Sweet Katana
Warrior’s Longsword
Wooden Crossbow

=========
KUPA KEEP
=========
Shop Owner: Craig
Equipment:
Axe of Stopping
Club of Smiting
Clyde’s Helmet (can only be purchased after you beat the main quest)
Fatbear’s Blade
Fire Sword
Jewish Staff
Khan Armor
Khan Gauntlets
Khan Helmet
KKK Armor
KKK Gloves
KKK Helmet
Kris Dagger
Lightning Wand
Magic Wand
Noob Hammer
Rogue’s Dagger
Sickle Sword
Staff of Winter
Warrior’s Blade
Warrior’s Scimitar

======
OTTAWA
======
Shop Owner: Ottawa Canadian
Equipment:
Canadian Halberd
Claymore of the Warrior

=============
U-STOR-IT BUM
=============
Shop Owner: Hobo
Equipment:
Du Rag
Goth Cap
Goth Clothes
Goth Gloves
Sweaty Headband
Training Gloves

=========
VANCOUVER
=========
Shop Owner: Vancouver Canadian
Equipment:
Archmage’s Wand

========
WINNIPEG
========
Shop Owner: Winnipeg Canadian
Equipment:
Flamberge Rapier

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5. All the rest
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All of the rest of the equipment can be found by exploring the world of
South Park. None of this stuff is missable, so don’t stress about it… you
can get any of it at any point in time during the game.

========================================
AXE OF THE UNDERWORLD/GRENADE OF SLOWING
========================================
Location: Jimbo’s Guns
Complete the side quest “Big Game Huntin’ with Jimbo”. This will get you the
key to the yellow chest that is found in the rafters of his shop. Use the
alien anal probe teleportation device to reach that chest. Pop it open to get
these weapons.

==============================================
BARBARIAN ARMOR/HELMET/SERRATED AXE OF RENDING
==============================================
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Go to the Duke of Vancouver’s house in the north part of Vancouver. If you
check the left side of his house you will see a giant crack in his northern
wall. Smash through it and go on through to his backyard area. There is a
treasure chest here. Loot it to obtain both the Barbarian Armor as well as
the Barbarian Helmet. Not only that, but you’ll also snag yourself one of
the weapons you need to collect as well, the Serrated Axe of Rending!

================
BARBARIAN GLOVES
================
Location: Canada
After starting the side quest called “Big Game Huntin’ with Jimbo”, you need to
go to Canada to fight the Canadian Barking Spider. Go to the north part of
the Canadian overworld map and you will see a spider web in the trees. Stand
on the web and lay the bait for the spider. Once the spider arrives, kill it.
Simple as that.

=========
BAR DARTS
=========
Location: Skeeter’s Bar
Complete the side quest “Rats in the Cellar” for Skeeter. He will reward you
with the Bar Darts weapon.

==========
BILLY CLUB
==========
Location: Token’s House
As a part of the main quest, you have to do battle with Token’s gate security
guard. Defeat him in battle to obtain his weapon.

==============
BOW OF SUCKING
==============
Location: Kupa Keep
When Cartman is teaching you the basics of combat, he gives you this weapon to
teach you how to use ranged weapons. So basically this weapon is yours
automatically just by going through the main story and completing the opening
tutorial of the game.

=====
BLING
=====
Location: Evidence Room, Police Station
Go into the Evidence Room using the air ducts on the second floor of the
police station. The yellow chest can be found in here.

=============
BROKEN BOTTLE
=============
Location: Sewers
During the side quest “The Homeless Problem”, you will come across a few
groups of hobos in the sewers. Loot all of them after you beat them and one
of them will have the Broken Bottle on them for you to collect.

============================
CRAB CARAPACE/HELMET/PINCERS
============================
Location: Sewer Cave
You can reach the caves underneath South Park by following the “Emergency Exit”
signs in the sewers. At the end of the cave you will see a Crab Person pounding
on a drum. You can’t reach him until you have the Nagisaki fart attack so
that you can destroy the boulder that is blocking your way to him.

Loot the yellow chest that he’s standing behind. If you’ve already been
through the cave and want to know a quick way to get back there, use the
manhole ladder that is by the movie theater instead of walking all the way
through the sewers all over again.

======================
CROWN OF ANAL PLEASURE
======================
Location: Clyde’s Fortress
You obtain this just by playing the story.

==================
DISCUS OF BLEEDING
==================
Location: Banff, Canada
Go to the chapel in Banff. There are two rooms besides the main large room
in the center area, one to the left and one to the right. First go to the
room on the left because there is a door blocking access to the room that is
on the right.

There will be some vases in here. Smash them. In the upper right hand corner
there will be a switch on the ground. Step on the switch. This will cause the
door blocking the room on the right to open. Go through and loot the chest
that is on the other side to obtain this weapon.

===========
DRUID CROWN
===========
Location: Clyde’s Garage
Enter Clyde’s garage and you will find a ladder that you can shoot down. Shoot
down the ladder and climb it to the attic area of the garage. You will find a
little kid up here named Pete that will add you on Facebook if you talk to
him, but more importantly (well, for this guide at least), you will find a
yellow treasure chest that can be looted so that you can get yet another new
piece of equipment. Nice!

============
DRUID GLOVES
============
Location: Butters’s Garage
Simply open the door to Butters’s Garage and you will get this chest. If you
need the key, loot everything in his house.

===========
DRUID ROBES
===========
Location: Stan’s Garage
Loot Stan’s garage to find the Druid Robes. They will be in a yellow chest,
like most of the equipment you find.

===============
ELVISH SHORTBOW
===============
Location: Basement, Inn of the Giggling Donkey
You get this weapon automatically after winning the battles in the basement
of the Inn of the Giggling Donkey, also known as Jimmy’s house.

=========
FRIAR CAP
=========
Location: Coffee Shop
In the room where Tweek is working, there is a yellow chest just up the nearby
ladder. After completing the quest where you recruit Tweek for the human
team, you get the key to that chest as a reward. Loot it to get the Friar
Cap.

============
FRIAR GLOVES
============
Location: Kupa Keep
Yellow chest at Kupa Keep.

===========
FRIAR ROBES
===========
Location: Kupa Keep
Found in the yellow chest at Kupa Keep.

======================
HOLY HAMMER OF SMITING
======================
Location: School
You get this weapon after winning a battle against the Nazi Zombie Gingers
during the “Attack the School” main quest.

============
JESTER’S CAP
============
Location: Jimmy’s Garage
Jimmy has this item in his garage inside of a yellow chest.

===================
KENNY’S BLOODY CLUB
===================
Location: Kenny’s Garage Roof
To get on the roof of Kenny’s garage, you first have to be inside of Kenny’s
garage. Then climb on the wood shelves on the back wall of the garage. There
will be a piece of roof here that you can smash out of the way. Then use
the wooden beams to climb up onto the roof where you will find the yellow
chest you need to loot in order to get this particular weapon.

===============
MANBEARPIG CLAW
===============
Location: Church
You have to fight ManBearPig (aka Al Gore) outside of the church as a part of
your last quest for Gore. Defeat him and then loot him to get this weapon.
Don’t worry if you leave, Al Gore’s body will stay on the ground forever…but
there’s really no reason not to loot him right after you win the battle.

==================
MISSILE OF SLOWING
==================
Location: Kevin Stoley’s House
Talk to Kevin Stoley in his bedroom at his house to get the quest “Vulcan
Around”. This is a very short and easy quest, you just have to get his iPad
for him from outside the church. It’s located behind the pine tree that is
to the right of the church.

Anyway, return his iPad to him to complete the quest. As part of your reward,
you get this weapon.

============
ROD OF WASTE
============
Location: Sewers
The Rod of Waste is located in the yellow chest that is sitting in one of the
first areas of the sewers. It’s virtually impossible not to do anything in the
sewers without reaching it one way or another.

============
SQUIRE ARMOR
============
Location: Token’s Roof
To get on Token’s roof, you first need the alien anal probe teleportation
device. Go to the attic of his garage and then use the teleportation device to
get onto his roof. Smash his chimney and then loot the treasure chest that is
found inside of it.

=============
SQUIRE GLOVES
=============
Location: Tom’s Rhinoplasty Roof
To get on the roof of Tom’s Rhinoplasty, you first need the alien anal probe
teleportation device. Use it to first get on the roof of the bank, and then
from there smash the snow pile and use it again to get on the roof of Tom’s
Rhinoplasty where a yellow chest will be awaiting your arrival.

=============
SQUIRE HELMET
=============
Location: U-Stor-It Roof
You can get on the roof of the storage units by going through the lair of
Professor Chaos. Climb through the air vent and you will then get roof
access. Do this once you have the alien anal probe, and then use the probe to
teleport to the roof that is in the background. The teleportation device will
be sticking off of a post. Anyway, loot the yellow chest here to get this
piece of equipment, the Squire Helmet.

============================
SUPER SERIAL MANBEARPIG CLUB
============================
Location: Al Gore’s Hideout
Complete the quest called “Unfriend Al Gore”. Then in his hideout, you will
be able to open his secret room. Turn on the lights and go to the left side
of the room to find yet another yellow chest that you can loot for yet
another weapon. How about that!

==========================
SURGICAL CAP/GLOVES/SCRUBS
==========================
Location: Unplanned Parenthood
You are required to pick these up as a part of the main quest, so assuming
you have done the main quest, then these should already be checked off of
your list.

==============================
VALKYRIE ARMOR/GLOVES/HEADBAND
==============================
Location: Girls’ Hideout
There is a yellow chest in plain sight in the Girls’ Hideout, to the left of
the entrance. Loot it to get this full set of the Valkyrie costume.

===========
WIFE BEATER
===========
Location: Kenny’s Garage
Loot the yellow chest inside of Kenny’s garage.

============
WITCH GLOVES
============
Location: Jimmy’s Backyard
To get into Jimmy’s Backyard, you first need the ability to shrink. To the
left of Jimmy’s house is a wooden fence. There is a hole that is in the
fence. Shrink and move through the hole. Go to the right and you will find
the chest that contains the Witch Gloves as well as a few other goodies.

=========
WITCH HAT
=========
Location: Underneath Coffee Shop Bench
Once you have the ability to shrink thanks to the Underpants Gnome, you can
get under the bench that is sitting outside of the Coffee Shop in town. You
will find a Chinpokomon here, but you will also find a pouch that you can
loot. The Witch Hat will be found inside of the pouch.

===========
WITCH ROBES
===========
Location: Log next to school
Go to the school. Then start going to the left. You will see a log sitting
right by the entrance to the Lost Woods. Shrink to gnome size and go through
the log. Snag the robes and you’re golden.

==============
WOOD ELF ARMOR
==============
Location: Inn of the Giggling Donkey
You get this armor automatically after defeating the enemies that are in
Jimmy’s living room during your first day in South Park.

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