I still haven't finished the prologue in Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain, so I can't really say much about the game as a whole but I do know that I've rarely been as frustrated by a gameplay sequence as I was by this first hour. A man trying to get up by clambering onto something, only for that something to be knocked over under his weight, is great once, but when it's repeated the whole thing starts to resemble a comedy sketch - which I'm pretty sure isn't what Kojima and co were aiming for. Eventually I'll get into the game, proper, but until then: 3/10.
Right, look, it's time to talk about PES 2016 again. It's just so good. Master League has been near-totally overhauled, resulting in something that's more dynamic and reactive than what's gone before, and the on-pitch stuff is so good I can imagine the FIFA team weeping into their billions of dollars.
Anyway, apart from PES I've been playing Metal Gear, of course. But, disappointingly, it seems like Kojima has Fucked It in the final stretch, with the last few missions requiring players to replay old missions at higher difficulties. Nah.
Anything else? Not really, no. I suppose trolling Twitter doesn't really count, even if there are quantifiable numbers (the score) right there underneath every post. Oh well.
Did everybody go through the same range of emotions as I am with The Phantom Pain because, to be honest, the opening 90 minutes have sadly left me feeling a little cold.
Maybe it was because it failed to instantly blow me away, unlike the original two games, whose opening sequences still have to be some of the best in video games history. But as intriguing as it was (and horrifying as certain scenes were), I felt that MGS 5's Prologue was disappointingly slow.
That said, I'm still excited to play more, and now that I'm in Afghanistan I can see how the 'proper' game may manage to sink its hooks in once the mechanics gradually become introduced. I just hope it doesn't take too long to get there.
In the little spare time I had this week, Metal Gear was obviously top priority. After rave reviews, and Twitter murmurings of an outstanding prologue, I excitedly jumped straight in, expecting an action-packed opening with explosions and guns and loads more Cool Shit.
Imagine my disappointment then, when the prologue actually turned out to be slow, infuriating and so overlong even Burns hated it.
Luckily, the next few missions are incredibly silly, the highlight being a main op in which I infiltrated a base using a cardboard box, fired an army general into the sky with a magic balloon, then rode the chopper home with Kids in America blaring. Of course.
Oh, and D-Dog is just the absolute best.
