Do Not Play ‘Sharknado: The Video Game’

Sharknado: The Video Game is not a good game. In fact, it’s barely a game. It’s the type of experience one brings up when talking about horrible movie tie-ins or mobile titles created solely to cash in on bigger properties. But in the case of Sharknado, even the movie isn’t very good, which makes the whole idea of making a game around it all the more confusing.

The game itself functions like a glitchy Temple Run knockoff, an endless runner where the player must navigate (hop, slide, or dodge) through a three-lane street lined with sharks. Getting past the sharks, however, is easier said than done, as the game struggles to maintain a steady frame rate on even the most up-to-date mobile hardware. Endless runners are all about split second decisions, but when Sharknado: The Video Game plays like it’s holding on for dear life you start to pray for a swift end to this misery.

But even if you did hope to jump back into Sharknado after mistiming a jump or having a shark fall inexplicably right in your path, the game won’t let you. Without fail and regardless of the situation, Sharknado crashes once you fail. Every. Single. Time. And it’s not quick to boot back up either.

The crashing alone would have made Sharknado: The Video Game a solid pass for everybody, but the fact that the game itself is barely playable, horribly designed, and not the least bit funny or amusing transforms it from forgettable to insulting. That’s why this is an impressions piece and not a review: because it’s nearly impossible to get through even a few minutes of the game without getting frustrated or bored. Even when the game tries to switch things up by putting the player on a surfboard or riding through the center of the sharknado brandishing a chainsaw, it’s too little too late.

I couldn’t have deleted this game quicker from all of my mobile devices, but even that didn’t feel like enough. This game is so bad that you worry the residual components might infect your more prized mobile experiences, or that it might somehow adversely impact your enjoyment of them. Thankfully, a quick jaunt through Temple Run 2 helped remind me that endless runners, although a little devious in their use of in-app purchases, can still be fun twitch-based experiences.

Sharknado: The Video Game, on the other hand, is an affront to the mobile space — the bad egg that should serve as a lesson that lazy design will not go unpunished. There are poor mobile games with frustrating quirks, and then there are broken games, and then there is Sharknado – the perfect storm of awful. Don’t download this game. Don’t even think about downloading this game.

Have you had a chance to check out Sharknado: The Video Game? Share your distaste for the mobile title in the comments below.

Sharknado: The Video Game is available now on the iOS App Store.

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