CellFactor Revolution review

Crushing girls to death using only your mind, giant robot suits and a rocket launcher in each hand. This shooter is the stuff dreams are made of. Manly, manly dreams. So why is it so disappointing?

Perhaps because the PhysX card this FPS was supposed to showcase hasn’t exactly set the world on fire. It simply wasn’t worth making the much-delayed CellFactor anything more than the glorified tech demo it still is.

It feels dirty to kick this given it’s sort of free (the whole thing only unlocks if you’ve dropped dough on a PhysX card), but though it attempts to scratch just about every next-gen itch, it’s barely a game. The single-player campaign is a string of dismal bot matches against AI that’s horrendously unfair and brain-dead, using atrociously unintuitive controls. It’s pepped up by clunky but fun UT-style vehicles and some amplified variations on the gravity gun theme, but it’s still cheerless skirmishes on an infinite five-map loop.