Bioware has done a brilliant job managing the ripple effects of your decisions over three massive games, and your romance choices are certainly no exception. Depending on who your Shepard was close to in the first two games, you can choose to continue a romantic relationship or start a new one. Even those who haven’t played ME1 or ME2 can find love in ME3, though sadly, two characters will be off the table: Tali and Garrus can only be romanced by a returning love interest.
Above: ME3 has romance options for EVERYONE
Loyalty missions are a thing of the past, but there are missable opportunities to make or break your chances at romance. The following guide outlines the important moments for every potential love interest in Mass Effect 3 to help you do things the right way on your first playthrough, likely so you can do things differently on your second. And of course, we’ve included video of the naught bits.
Disclaimer 1: While we made sure to avoid them when possible, this guide may contain minor spoilers. However, it does not contain any details regarding any of the game’s major branches, final missions, or potential endings.
Disclaimer 2: Don’t let any of our transparent personal preferences deter you from following your heart. We may prefer Liara’s head-tentacles to Ashley’s flowing locks, but we’ll still tell you what it takes to win them both (not simultaneously, of course) and aren’t here to judge you. After all, this is a romance guide for a video game.
Liara T'Soni
Ashley Williams
Diana Allers
Samantha Traynor
Steve Cortez
Tali'Zorah
Garrus Vakarian
Kaidan Alenko
Be sure to check our other Mass Effect 3 guides and walkthroughs:
Mass Effect 3 walkthrough
Mass Effect 3 weapons and armor guide
Mass Effect 3 planet scanning guide - war assets, artifacts, intel, and credits
Above: When she’s not murdering Cerberus
soldiers, Liara enjoys checking Shepard’s internet history
Race: Asari
Role: Shadow Broker
Preference: Males and females
Personality: Serious, cerebral, adorable
Our favorite Asari scientist/biotic wunderkind is now the Shadow Broker, and has set up shop aboard the Normandy in Miranda’s old office. We’re covering her first because, frankly, she’s willing to get naked for anyone. She’s also the second permanent squad member, and since James Vega is not a romanceable character, Liara will be the target of many impatient Shepards.
Previously, on Mass Effect
Both new and imported male and female Shepards can romance Liara. Those who romanced her in ME1 may have to do some damage control beforehand, however. Since she was absent from your crew in ME2, it’s understandable if you filled the loneliness void with one of your other 2000 crew members. But Liara is the Shadow Broker now, and she sees all. Thankfully, none of that really matters to Liara, provided you clear the air when speaking with her in her quarters early on. If you ‘cheated’ in ME2, tell Liara that you want to continue your relationship with her. This won’t cement anything, but it is the first and most important step.
Romance Walkthrough
Apart from what we’ve already mentioned above, Liara is very low-maintenance. Make sure to give favorable responses to her dialog, and visit her every once in a while in her office, though there are several times when she will actually seek you out, regardless if you are trying to woo her.
Above: Liara waiting for Shepard to get off
the toilet. Uhh, maybe this isn’t going work out...
Before the Tuchanka missions wrap up, go to the Citadel and pay Liara a visit. She’ll be at the Presidium Commons café. Use this opportunity to further fortify your relationship. You can also have an in-depth conversation with Liara in her quarters just before the Priority: Horizon mission.
Closing the Deal
Your opportunity to confirm the romance with Liara happens in the Presidium Commons late in the game. Liara will be standing near the shops at the southwestern part of the map. Don’t worry about seeking her out every time you visit the Citadel; she invites you to join her via private message. The following vid is of a Shepard who did not romance Liara in ME1:
The real reason you’re here:
Once you’ve chosen to go ahead with the Priority: Cerberus Headquarters mission, the following scene between Shepard and Liara will take place the night before:
Above: Ashley’s new peripheral
vision-reducing haircut may put her at a serious tactical disadvantage, but
it’s totally worth the L’Oréal endorsement
Race: Human
Role: Lieutenant Commander
Preference: Males only
Personality: Straightforward, strong-willed, stubborn
Everyone’s favorite semi-sexy space-racist is back, and unlike in ME2, she’ll stick around long enough to either annoy the crap out of you or become your naughty nighttime companion. All of this is assuming you did not blow her up in Mass Effect one, in which case she will be replaced by Kaidan Alenko, who has significantly smaller breasts.
Previously, on Mass Effect
Both new and imported male Shepards can romance Ashley, but actions you took in previous games can complicate things. Ashley will be suspicious of your motives early on in the game regardless of any previous relationships, but this resentment is multiplied if you ‘cheated’ on her during the second game. If that’s the case for you, make sure to follow the guide below carefully.
Romance Walkthrough
Ashley is part of your squad for the Priority: Mars mission, and it’s during this time she’ll repeatedly bring up Shepard’s prior relationship with Cerberus. Avoid the aggressive Renegade responses, especially if you’re making up for being unfaithful in the second game.
There’s no way to prevent Ashley from getting injured on Mars. She will be laid up in the hospital for a good chunk of the game, so it’s important to visit her when opportunities arise.
When you go to the Citadel after the Mars mission, make sure to stop by the hospital. While not absolutely necessary, you should also visit Sirta Supplies on your way and purchase the “Collected Alfred Tennyson” gift for Ashley. She’s unconscious at this time, but it will come in handy later. Don’t worry about specific dialog choices here; she can’t hear you.
After the Priority: Palaven mission, you should get a private message from Ashley, who is awake and willing to see you. Now is your opportunity to present her with that gift, and you should be generally supportive here in order to regain her trust.
Ashley will be back on her feet during the Tuchanka missions, and she’ll once again extend an invite via private message. It’s important that you visit her again at this time and continue the supportive dialog, or things could get quite messy the next time you two encounter each other.
At the end of the Priority: Citadel mission, Ashley will be escorting Udina and end up in a standoff with Shepard. If you’ve done everything you can so far to nurture your relationship with Ashley, you can get her to stand down very easily. If you haven’t followed the walkthrough up to this point, it is still possible to resolve the situation peacefully with a high enough reputation score. If you can’t get Ashley to stand down here, things get pretty ugly, and the road to romance will end.
There is a forced encounter with Ashley just before returning to the Normandy. It’s here that you actually convince her to stay on your crew. She’ll gladly join if you’ve been friendly so far; if not, it will take some serious reputation points to convince her. It should go without saying that she needs to be on your crew if you wish to see this romance through.
After completing enough missions, Ashley will send you a private message asking you to meet her and her sister at the docking bay. Offer your support during this meeting, and you’ll have nearly wrapped things up.
Closing the deal
Finally, you can meet Ashley at the Presidium Commons café on the Citadel and close the deal.
The real reason you’re here:
Once you’ve chosen to go ahead with the Priority: Cerberus Headquarters mission, the following scene between Shepard and Ashley will take place:
Above: Given Shepard’s track record with
reporters, this could go very wrong very quickly
Race: Human
Role: Reporter
Preference: Males and females
Personality: Promiscuous, annoying
Diana Allers serves as the television reporter for most of the galaxy, and will accompany the crew of the Normandy if given the chance. Throughout her stay, she’ll ask some invasive questions (none of which include “where can I get more clothing?”), which can be countered with intelligent, calculated responses for a boost in reputation, or frustrated dismissal for nothing more than personal satisfaction. If at any time you becomes less concerned with romancing her and more concerned with getting her the hell of your ship, all you need do is speak to her twice in the starboard cargo bay.
Romance walkthrough
The first step is to seek out Diana and invite her to stay on the Normandy. Find her in the lounge of Normandy’s docking bay at the Citadel the very first time you visit. Simply talk to her and agree to bring her along.
Diana will request private interviews with Shepard after two of the games Priority missions (Citadel and Thessia). As long as you don’t get angry and select “this interview is over” during your conversation, you can initiate things by flirting at the end of the first interview. You can also visit Diana at anytime down on the engineering deck.
Closing the deal
It is during the second private interview (after Priority: Thessia) that you can confirm your romance with Diana. Unlike many of the other romances, this is the final scene, meaning nothing else happens before you embark on the game’s final missions.
Above: Interests include data analysis, chess, and showering while clothed. You’ll see...
Race: Human
Role: Communication Officer
Preference: Females only
Personality: Clever, playful
Traynor is the new communication officer aboard the Normandy. While she initially appears to be just another glorified secretary, she’s quick to show off her intellectual talent by giving tips to EDI or making mission-critical decisions. She’s also unique in that she’s the only one on the Normandy willing to crawl under the covers long before the game’s final missions.
Romance walkthrough
Traynor wastes no time indicating her preference for females by calling EDI’s voice “attractive.” If you’re interested, you only need engage her in conversation a couple of times during the games first handful of missions. She’ll eventually mention during an ambient conversation that she enjoys chess. Soon after that she’ll send a private message offering to visit Shepard in his/her cabin. While this begins, and can remain, completely platonic, pursuing the right dialog choices gives you the following, which you need to see:
The real reason you’re here
Even with foreknowledge of Traynor’s preferences, we pursued her as a male Shepard anyway. Here’s the result:
Above: Reapers aren’t the only ones who can shoot Shepard down
Above: There’s no tool in this box that can
fix my broken heart...
Race: Human
Role: Lieutenant
Preference: Males only
Personality: Dedicated, professional
Steve Cortez serves as Shepard’s insanely brave shuttle pilot. When he’s not piloting a glorified tin can between missiles salvos, he’s usually down in Normany’s shuttle dock joking around with James or mourning his dead husband. While the latter activity prevents Shepard from making early advances, you can eventually help Cortez overcome his loss and move on to someone better - like the savior of the entire freakin’ galaxy.
Romance walkthrough
Cortez can always be found down in the armory/shuttle dock. Pay him a visit early in the game to get the introductions out of the way, then ask personal questions. After this first encounter, you can speak to him again as early as the Tuchanka missions to learn about the death of his husband. After a mission has passed, speak to him again. You must convince him to take a break from his work next time the Normandy docks at the Citadel.
Note that you do not have to do the above as quickly as we’ve laid out. You can let multiple missions pass between these conversations.
Should Cortez agree to take some time off, you can visit him any time after that at the Normandy dock on the Citadel. He’ll be leaning against the railing, looking out the window. Make sure to maintain agreeable responses.
Soon after the Geth Dreadnought mission, you can find Cortez at the Citadel’s loading docks, near the memorial wall. Support him here, and you’ll have nearly completed the romance arc.
Closing the Deal
If you’ve been following along up this point, Cortez should send you a private message near the end of the game inviting you to meet him at the Purgatory bar on the Citadel. It is here where you can confirm the relationship or back out.
The real reason you’re here:
Like the other romance options, Cortez will automatically come to your cabin the night before the game’s final missions.
Above: Dammit, Tali, I said “say cheese!”
Ok guys, let’s try this again...
Race: Quarian
Role: Admiral or outcast, depending on previous choices
Preference: Males only
Personality: Intelligent, humble
Some might be turned off by the fact that we’ve never seen Tali’s face and/or that she has one less finger than a Simpsons character. Still, she’s one of the most brilliant technical minds in the galaxy and wields a shotgun better than most krogans, so that makes her sexy in our book. She’s changed a bit since the first two Mass Effect games, and is now less shy and awkward - something you’ll find out should you pursue a romantic relationship.
Previously, on Mass Effect
Only imported male Shepards who romanced Tali in ME2 can continue the relationship in ME3. That’s assuming you get her to successfully join your crew after the Priority: Rannoch mission, which takes place in the second half of the game. However, a continued romance with Tali can be one of the most satisfying in the entire game, with numerous meaningful conversations, both traditional and ambient.
Romance Walkthrough
During Tali’s introduction, make it clear you want to continue the relationship. She’ll propose some ‘private time’ up in the captain’s cabin, away from the other admirals. You can invite her up immediately, and confirm you want to continue the relationship. Make sure to do this, or else risk losing your chance at love.
After the Priority: Rannoch mission, visit Tali down in Engineering. She’ll be standing near the drive core.
It is at this point Tali will say she’s left a gift for you in your cabin. The gift is actually a photo of her without her mask, which you can look at any time.
Just before embarking on the game’s final mission, you can find Tali in the Normandy lounge (aka the port observation deck). She’ll only have an ambient conversation with you, and it has no effect on your romance, but it’s worth seeing nonetheless:
The real reason you’re here:
Like the other romance options, Tali will automatically come to your cabin the night before the game’s final missions.
Above: Sexy?
Race: Turian
Role: Sharpshooter/Combat Engineer
Preference: Females only
Personality: Realistic, strong, badass
Despite being one ugly alien sonuvabitch, Garrus is, ironically, one of the most relatable characters in the Mass Effect universe. He’s been the badass by your side ever since joining your crew based on nothing except a mutual hatred of Saren. The more you get to know him, the less important gender or species becomes, and he becomes either your buddy for life or your forbidden crush.
Previously, on Mass Effect
A relationship with Garrus operates in a similar way to one with Tali. The turian cannot be swayed by anyone other than a female Shepard who already romanced him in Mass Effect 2. Since he joins the squad so early in the game, it’s easy to confirm continuation of the relationship before other sexy crew members start distracting you.
Romance walkthrough
After the Priority: Palaven mission, you can find Garrus near the main battery on deck 3 of the Normandy. Speak with him and indicate you would like to continue a relationship. After that, continuing your romance with Garrus is extremely simple. As long as you don’t go after anyone else, you’ll be able to reach the final scene with very little effort.
Closing the deal
As soon as immediately after the Priority: Geth Dreadnought mission, Garrus will send you a private message. Meet him at the Normandy docking area on the Citadel, near the elevator. Together you’ll ride up to the top of the Presidium, where you can wrap things up, romance-wise. You’ll have a chance to see a variation on this scene regardless of whether or not you’re trying to romance Garrus, but things take a very different turn if you are.
The real reason you’re here:
Once you’ve chosen to go ahead with the Priority: Cerberus Headquarters mission, Garrus will automatically visit Shepard in her cabin the night before.
Race: Human
Role: Major
Preference: Females, but makes an exception for male Shepard in ME3
Personality: Stoic, thoughtful, vanilla
The human biotic with a dark past is back in Mass Effect 3, assuming you chose to keep him alive during the events of Mass Effect 1. In Mass Effect 3, Kaidan has the extremely awesome task of commanding a biotic-based covert ops unit for the Alliance, though he is quick to join Shepard and fight for the galaxy when the Reapers invade Earth.
Note: Kaidan’s role in Mass Effect 3 is virtually identical to Ashley’s, as are the steps to romancing him.
Previously, on Mass Effect
Both new and imported female and male Shepards can romance Kaidan, but in the case of females, actions taken in previous games can complicate things. Kaidan will be suspicious of your motives early on in the game regardless of any previous relationships, but this resentment is multiplied if you ‘cheated’ on him during the second game. If that’s the case for you, make sure to follow the guide below carefully.
Romance Walkthrough
Kaidan is part of your squad for the Priority: Mars mission, and it’s during this time he’ll repeatedly bring up Shepard’s prior relationship with Cerberus. Avoid the aggressive Renegade responses, especially if you’re making up for being unfaithful in the second game.
There’s no
way to prevent Kaidan from getting injured on Mars. He will be laid up in the
hospital for a good chunk of the game, so it’s important to visit him when
opportunities arise.
When you go to the Citadel after the Mars mission, make sure to stop by the
hospital. While not absolutely necessary, you should also visit Sirta Supplies
on your way and purchase the Peruvian whiskey gift for Kaidan. He’s unconscious
at this time, but it will come in handy later. Don’t worry about specific
dialog choices here; he can’t hear you.
After the Priority: Palaven mission, you should get a private message from Kaidan, who is awake and willing to see you. Now is your opportunity to present him with that whiskey, and you should be generally supportive here in order to regain his trust.
Above: No man... I*hic* love YOU
Kaidan will be back on his feet during the Tuchanka missions, and he’ll once again extend an invite via private message. It’s important that you visit him again at this time and continue the supportive dialog, or things could get quite messy the next time you two encounter each other.
At the end of the Priority: Citadel mission, Kaidan will be escorting Udina and end up in a standoff with Shepard. If you’ve done everything you can so far to nurture your relationship with Kaidan, you can get him to stand down very easily (if you are playing an imported Shepard), or with one bar of reputation (if you are playing new). If you can’t get Kaidan to stand down here, things get pretty ugly, and the road to romance will end.
There is a forced encounter with Kaidan just before returning to the Normandy. It’s here that you actually convince him to stay on your crew. He’ll gladly join if you’ve been friendly so far; if not, it will take some serious reputation points to convince him. It should go without saying that he needs to be on your crew if you wish to see this romance through. As soon as you’re back on the Normandy, pay a quick visit to the starboard observation deck and have a chat with Kaidan.
Closing the deal
After the Priority: Geth Dreadnought mission, Kaidan will send you a private message inviting you to dinner with him at the café on the Citadel. Choose favorable responses here and things will be all but wrapped up.
The real reason you’re here:
Once you’ve chosen to go ahead with the Priority: Cerberus Headquarters mission, the following scene between Shepard and Kaidan will take place:
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