There are times during Gears of War 3 when it's hard to believe the game is running on the same console that gave us the launch line-up six years ago. The game Epic has created is easily the most impressive looking game I've seen running on the now close-to-retirement console, sporting a crispness and lighting quality that is rarely seen. I've always been a huge Gears fan, largely due to the incredible production values, and Gears 3 definitely feels like the most refined game in the series. I'm loving the campaign so far, although I have to admit that the baby corpsers freak me out.
I've not had much time for proper gaming over the past week, being more preoccupied with attending (and subsequently recovering from) the stag do of a certain Wesley Yin-Poole. During a quiet(ish) moment of hangover recovery, the latter introduced me to PikPok's Flick Kick Football. [virgin]My mate[/virgin]Wez and his brother were notching up scores in the early 70s; predictably, I struggled to manage more than four or five goals in a row. Given my utter lack of coherence when it comes to kicking a real ball, I can only conclude that Flick Kick Football is a devastatingly accurate simulation of how I would fare in a real-world free kick situation.
TLDR: I am football fail.
If a picture says a thousand words, then imagine this landscape in your mind: a coarse gang war has resulted in a mansion house party succumbing to attack from an army of gun-toting strippers, and the only possible avenue for retaliation is to pick one of the barely-clothed exotic dancers and use her as a human shield. And you're wearing a gimp suit with no trousers. And your guns fire explosive bullets. And underneath your gimp mask you're wearing evil clown makeup. And you can fly a helicopter. And you just blew up a group of enemies on the balcony with a predator missile. And your car is a stolen police vehicle painted pink and fitted with nitrous.
I think that picture, all things considered, is even more fun than being tied up and spanked.
Good news, everyone! One week to go in SWG and I can finally start playing games that were made in this decade. If you've been following my weekly playthrough you'll be familiar with the lonely, bizarre experience of playing a nearly dead MMO. I've spent days travelling to different areas to find another player on my server to no avail – until the other night! Finally, three weeks in to my SWG experience and I found someone dancing alone in Mos Eisley. Talk about a visual metaphor. Highlight of the game so far anyway. Stay tuned next week when I stay up until roughly 5AM to see how the game dies.
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