Obviously the Captain America movie tie-in game on iOS is crap. You probably didn't even need me to tell you that, but in case you'd like to know how crap it is, you can read about it here.
As I did plough my way through it for a few hours, though, I thought I may as well moan about the differing qualities between mobile games at the minute. Everyone is aware of the Candy Crush Saga runaway success train, and if people want to go as nuts as they do with it then more power to them. But if all we're going to get is that and Captain Pap then it's very upsetting.
There's plenty of excellent games to get involved with be it on iOS or Android - Shadowblade… - but it'd be nice if we could have some sort of 'Halo Moment' where it all starts to make a lot more sense.
Or just put f**king R.C. Pro-Am on there. Stupid Rare that's not Rare anymore…
A wise young man once asked, 'Have you ever had a dreams that you um, you had, you would, you could, you do, you wit, you want, you could do so, you weh, you do, you could, you want, you want him to do you so much you could do anything?'
I dared to dream. And now I'm a goat.
For a moment I played Mercenary Kings on PS4. It wasn't as good as FIFA so I stopped after one level and went back to Ultimate Team. Mercenary Kings might be a very good game if you're into that kind of thing, but I'm clearly not as you can't score volleys or lose once again thanks to an injury time goal. Still, Mercenary Kings is free on PlayStation Plus this month, so you can make your own mind up if you're a paying subscriber. Or just play FIFA.
This week I've played Goat Simulator, which is either the best or worst game I've ever encountered. It's ridiculous, quite fun in a fever dream sort of way, a bit shit, and is probably the world's most expensive practical joke.
Apart from that I've been playing FIFA 14, a game where the players move like they have boats for feet. Also, whose idea was it to have the players only be able to play one game before collapsing of exhaustion? Honestly, find them and bring them to me. If you're reading this, nameless FIFA programmer, know that 'You Are Already Dead*'.
Finally, I've been playing an old classic: shouting at Bratters and Dave because they deserve no better.
*This is a joke.
