Is Onechanbara a Japanese game
Onechanbara Bikini Zombie Slayers is not the game of the upcoming James Corden and Mathew Horne movie Lesbian Vampire Killers. Onechanbara Bikini Zombie Slayers is far worse than that monstrosity ever would be.
It's a blood-soaked, torso-tearing, flesh-ripping third-person slash-em-up in which you slice and dice endless streams of spawning undead as one of two scantily clad anime-inspired sisters. And it's perhaps the worst game for adults on the Nintendo Wii.
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Onechanbara Bikini Zombie Slayers exists so that adolescent blokes can perve over bouncing breasts and wiggling arses, and cackle manically as zombie blood sprays all over their faces. We can't criticise this shameless pitch. To do so would be hypocritical. Sex and violence are the foundations for countless games of a similar nature. Ninja Gaiden, Devil May Cry, God of War.... the list of satisfying, rewarding and fun hack and slashers with women straight out of the "Weird Science" design manual is longer than your average virtual katana. But there's an important difference between those games and Onechanbara Bikini Zombie Slayers. They're great. This isn't.
Why? Where to start. It's boring, repetitive, frustrating, ugly, baffling, uninspiring... where to stop? The soul destroying combat forces you to endlessly shake the Wii Remote and Nunchuck while locked on to mindless, slow-moving ape-like zombies with the Z button. Yes, the game desperately wants its combat to be more sophisticated than that found in your average Wii action title. There are slow motion evades (press A just at the right time while locked on), counter attacks, combos, special moves (hold 1 and swing) and even two fighting styles for each sister. But, as with many Wii games, the motion-sensing controls aren't responsive enough to guarantee that your carefully timed Wii waggling is detected. What you end up doing is repeatedly flicking forward because, well, nothing else seems to work properly. Having to do this over the course of the entire game inevitably knackers your wrists.
