Chulip review

The same people who brought us Harvest Moon, a beloved-to-many farm-simulation RPG, have now unleashed upon us Chulip, a kissing simulator with a brand of quirkiness that could only come from Land of the Rising Sun.

The object of the game is to boost your reputation by kissing everyone in town. As you acquire conquests, you'll level up until you're strong enough to face the girl of your dreams. The in-game clock moves quickly, so you have a limited time each day to interact with people and try to get kisses. Long Life Town, as it's called, is full of perils, and you'll get hurt often. The playground is particularly dangerous - trying to play on the equipment can score you an instant gameover.

Each night you can go home, and while you sleep your heart meter will replenish. In fact, if you get caught in town after dark, you might get shot to death by the town's cop on sight (possibly the closest thing to realism you'll find in the game).

There are two types of citizens in the town (and surrounding areas) that you will need to kiss to boost your reputation: above-ground citizens and underground citizens. Some underground citizens are fairly easy to kiss, and only require being in the right place at the right time.

Most of the 33 underground citizens, however, require you to go to extreme lengths before they'll be in the mood. For example, one guy, simply called "20-Year-Old Guy," requires you to visit him, walk away from him until he gets angry, and then successfully sneak past him without him hitting you.

Doesn't sound so bad? How about repeating this process 50 times? Yeah, that's what you'll need to do to get a kiss. As if that's not annoying enough, keep in mind that underground citizens only pop up from their holes once per day for you to interact with them. You'll have to keep track of their schedules to know who pops up from what hole at what time of day, which is a particularly tedious waste of time.

That's just the underground citizens. The people you encounter in the surface world are even more demanding. After getting slapped around a few times by the town's resident ho-bag, you'll probably decide that dream girl isn't really worth all the trouble after all.