Jaws Unleashed review

Cards on the table. This is the most awesome bad game we’ve had in the office in ages. Everything you might want to do as Jaws is here, from bellyflopping lone jet-ski riders to launching yourself onto a beach and thrashing your 30-foot mass towards delicious onshore humans. We didn’t even think it was possible for a game that encourages the devouring of entire pods of dolphins to be bad. Somehow, we were wrong.

On the plus side, it’s a quick heartbreak rather than a gradual disappointment: things go wrong the second you feel how Jaws handles. For the biggest, bulkiest nightmare below sea level, he can outpace anything, fish or boat. And he steers with the nervous agility of a goldfish. He twists and zips and nips (and clips) around, and the only time you lose the feeling of unnatural speed is when you blast through something narrow and get stuck. Worse, all this makes precise maneuvering impossible. Deadly predators tend to be pretty good at striking their prey, and don’t barrel past their target and have to come around for another pass. And then another. But you will.