World Series of Poker: Tournament of Champions review

It’s all about celebrities. Poker on TV gives you Sir Clive Sinclair sitting looking concerned in a hat. But World Series of Poker: Tournament of Champions has the ultimate celebrity: Jesus.

That’s Chris “Jesus” Ferguson: champion poker player and a man with the ability to cut a watermelon in half with a flying playing card. He happily trots out useless advice throughout the game. And that’s all the excitement in this game pretty much done with.

This is no frills “career” poker: start out in a shabby poker room (which you can decorate), and progress through circuit events en route to a championship bracelet. It’s thrill-free: winning hands against brain-dead AI players is no victory. Games move slower than it takes for “Jesus” to grow his trademark beard another millimeter, and there are breaks to load animation.