At some point in our gaming lives, probably very early on, we all discover the rush of getting new in-game weapons that absolutely devastate our enemies. Aside from abilities and storylines, it's one of the main reasons we keep on going in hack 'n slash games like Torchlight, Dark Alliance, Diablo, Bastion, Dungeon Siege, Dragon Age II or any other slasher. We want the loot to upgrade our characters! But why stop there? Why not upgrade ourselves in real life with video game swords?
Here are some advantages of owning a video game sword:
It's easier to scare off burglars. No one is going to mess with you, if you pull out a sword the size of a small tree. Take the Buster Sword from Final Fantasy VII for instance. Now that thing is huge. It's going to take a little wrist development before ever being able to wield that monster, but in the end, it's worth it. Talking about Final Fantasy, let's move on to the gun blade. Like the name suggests, it's a combination of a gun and a sword. The first version couldn't actually shoot, but later on they redesigned it so it would live up to the name. It just makes normal blades look boring. I mean, honestly, have you ever seen a sword that can slice and shoot at the same time?
Another famous video game sword is Link's Master Sword. In A Link To The Past, it could shoot of magical energy when at full health. This would come in handy next time I catch my cat climbing in the curtains. Or imagine having Lord of the Rings' Sting, a sword that lights up when orcs are near. Actually that would be pretty useless, because as far as I know there are no orcs on this planet. However, if you could tell it to light up whenever your boss is around, that would be pretty sweet. You'll never get caught playing Angry Birds on the job again!
Suppose your airplane crashes onto some forsaken island in the middle of the ocean. Instead of panicking and screaming like a little girl, take out the Sword of Omens and yell 'Thunder'! Or better yet, use Prince of Persia's Dagger of Time and undo the whole calamity. There's plenty of sand on a deserted island to refill the dagger.
Locked yourself out of your apartment? The light saber can bring hail. Just circle around the lock and in you are.
So you see, video game swords have many advantages over a regular blade. There are those that light up when faced with danger, some can turn back time and others shoot bullets. Now tell me, what real world sword can do those things? You're right, none, only video game swords can!
