When I wrote about Dark Souls a few weeks ago, I was but a few hours into my journey. Now, after ploughing in significant more time, I can safely say this: I truly, honestly, with all my heart, hate Dark Souls.
I realise this will be the catalyst for a lot of disparaging comments and hate - and deservedly so - but I just cannot get my head around the idea that constant repetition and death is entertaining. I understand why it has grabbed people the way it has. In many ways it's the antithesis to the majority of games currently flooding the market: no hand holding, little guidance, and mind-numbingly difficult.
For all these reasons and more it's incredibly rewarding as you educate yourself to how it works, but it just isn't for me. I don't have the patience or willingness to plough through the same section over and over again. It really is the equivalent of maths: I get it, but I don't like it…
Having not played a single game over the Christmas holiday, I finally turned on the PS4 again this week to play a bit of FIFA 14. I've got bored of playing Spurs v Arsenal, so thought I'd take on Stoke and knock in a few more goals than normal. Sadly, Soldado misses as many chances in the virtual world of FIFA 14 as he does in playing for Spurs in real life.
One day I'll play a game mode other than exhibition, but while I still struggle to score more than one goal a game, friendlies against lesser teams will do just fine.
If you ever want to study children's online behaviour, there's no greater game to do it with than Call of Duty. Despite some of the things I said last year, Ghosts' multiplayer finally clicked with me over the winter break, where I spent many an hour listening in on the nonsense being squeaked down my online pipe by pre-teeners.
One of the first things I discovered is that, while in earshot of their mothers, kids replace the F word with 'Fire Truck'; their reasoning being that it still starts with an 'F' and ends with an 'uck'. Smart. There's also a rap song informing children about the risk of catching cafeteria diarrhoea during their first year of high school, something they relish singing down the earpiece of anyone else prepared to listen. They have a bizarre fascination with usernames, too, especially when the name isn't 'xXcOdSnIpEr69Xx' and something a little more relatable, like, I don't know, 'Dave'.
Most heartwarming of all though is that, despite all of this 'clever' bravado, whenever they encounter another person of similar age they revert back to being typical 8 year olds, 'strategising' amongst themselves and pretending to go on their own mini adventures in the big grown-up playpen of Ghost's post-apocalyptic universe. It's an adult's world, but sometimes, just sometimes, the kids are all right.
I've been looking forward to playing Don't Starve for a long time. As somebody who doesn't own a gaming PC, the chance to check out many indie titles that usually pass me by for free on PlayStation Plus is an exciting prospect, and it's more than lived up to expectations.
I love games that do nothing more than plunk you straight into the middle of a world and ask you to explore and survive. It is why I am so fascinated with Dark Souls and hold a strong passion for retro games. Don't Starve's basic premise is summed up in the title: forage off the land to craft weapons, fires and other gadgets to last as long as possible.
So far, so good. I've made it through my first couple of nights despite some bouts of terrible hunger and impaired cognitive function. I'm worried that my poor gentleman scientist is starting to show signs of fatigue, with noticeable bags under his eyes.
An expansive search for Wilson has so far proved unsuccessful, but the day is still young. The quest continues.