I have never finished Resident Evil 4. I'm well aware this makes me a terrible person, but this week I tried to rectify that by starting to work my way through it.
The first thing you can't help but notice is how apt the term 'tank controls' is. F**k me! It's all well and good turning the nostalgic side of your brain on, but you really can't appreciate how far games have come until you sit down and try it in 2014. I've got no problem with not being able to move and shoot at the same time, but trying to shift Leon Kennedy around a corner? I'd rather pull my own teeth out.
Thankfully what's underneath is still very entertaining. It may have been watered down no end thanks to the endless amount of games that have just stolen from it since, but it all holds up. In true Resident Evil fashion, too, headshots remains incredibly satisfying.
The journey continues…
Apart from the latest season, I’ve seen every episode of South Park. I own pretty much all the box sets too, so it’s fair to say I’m a massive fan of the series.
This game is pure fan service, and for me, a worthy successor to Bigger, Longer and Uncut. I’ve never laughed so hard while playing a game. Don’t worry, I’ll remain spoiler free, but just know there are moments in this game that will make it very awkward should anybody walk into the room free of context.
I’ve also learned some valuable life lessons in my time with TSOT, like nobody should ever, ever fart on a man’s balls...
Miller has told the office we must remain spoiler free, but still hasn’t played the game, so I’m asking the wonderful VG community to encourage him to complete it as soon as possible so myself and Dave don’t have to laugh like children while sharing stories on Skype.
This week I found some pubes in a drawer, farted on a cat and flung a turd at my enemies.
And then I played South Park.
I spent about £4 in FIFA Ultimate Team this week and I feel bad. I'd plugged away for a while, earning coins slowly and buying players and packs when I'd saved enough, but I felt I wanted more cards right away. I bought one of the super premium packs that normally cost tens of thousands of coins, thinking I'd get some good cards, but no, it was a massive let down. The thrill lasted about two seconds, and then I felt sad. Sad that I'd given in and spent real money, and sad that I'd belittled my own hard work with a fleeting throw-away use of a few quid. I'm not going to do it again.
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