Achievements:
EMO
Objective: Injure yourself.
SPECIAL OLYMPIAN
Objective: Beat the game once. No restrictions apply. Everyone's a winner.
DO NOT PUSH THE BUTTON!
Objective: Disobey orders, given to you, and see what happens.
NEUROSURGEON
Objective: 300 headshot/decap kills.
SCHWARZENEGGER
Objective: 200 kills using M-60.
THE CHOICE WAS YOURS!
Objective: Choose path for the first time.
DANNY TREJO
Objective: 100 kills using machete in melee.
DON'T TAZE ME BRO
Objective: Taze 200 victims.
COMMIES GO HOME!
Objective: Make Venezuela peacemakers go home.
SUCKTASTIC!
Objective: Suck up 500 items with the shop vac.
REPO MAN
Objective: Return Thegways to the owner
WOLVERINES R GHEY
Objective: 50 badgersaw kills.
SCOFIELD
Objective: Escape from prison.
AIN'T GOT COJONES!
Objective: Finish your business with Krotchy.
PSYCHO DUNDEE
Objective: 50 kills using boomerang machete.
PROPERTY DAMAGE
Objective: Smash 50 windows.
T.J. HOOKER
Objective: Arrest 200 perps.
PRODUCT RECALL
Objective: Destroy 50 cars.
SAYANARA, TREE HUGGERS
Objective: Arrest eco zealots leader.
ALL PERPS MUST DIE!
Objective: Take out all the criminal scum infesting Catharsis!
CAMELBACK
Objective: Piss 100 gallons of urine.
CAT WRANGLER
Objective: 50 kills using cat.
FAIL ZOMBIE
Objective: Respawn 20 times.
THERE IS NO SPOON
Objective: Spend 900 seconds or more in catnip bullet time.
JACK THOMPSON WAS RIGHT
Objective: Kill 1000 unarmed bystanders.
ENTOMOLOGIST
Objective: 50 kills using bees.
ARSONIST
Objective: 150 kills using fire.
I AM THE LAW
Objective: Complete Good path without falling off.
PETA CHAIRMAN
Objective: Kill no animals in one playthrough.
EASTWOOD
Objective: Complete game using only the pistol.
PERSONAL JESUS
Objective: Beat game with zero kills.n(zombies and bosses don't count)
REAL AMERICAN
Objective: Kill/incapacitate 235 terrorists.
MEGA-SADIST
Objective: 200 injured or death-crawling victims NOT finished off.
BIPOLAR
Objective: Swap paths 5 times in one playthrough.
STALLONE
Objective: Complete game using only melee.
KAVORKIAN
Objective: Euthanise 30 elderly folks.
CHAMP WHISPERER
Objective: 50 kills using dog.
DADDY NEVER LOVED ME
Objective: Complete game killing only males.