How do you handle your husband playing too much online poker when you have seen sexual comments being made by others in the Chat room on the poker site
Well first off your question is too vague.I am a online poker player, I make between 1,000 and 2,000 dollars a week.
You say he plays too much, but if he is winning many times you have to put in hours to make profit. Which is no different than working at a job, overtime to make extra money.
People are ignorant when it comes to online poker overall so take it from me a professional. I can only assume he isn't winning I mean if he was making 5,000 dollars a week your only issue would be the female contact.
Sounds like he is a losing player trying to get better and learn the game or he has a overall problem with self control and is hurting your relationship money wise.
So it depends, which case it may be. I can tell you I play between 40 hours to 50 hours a week. Sometimes more if big tournaments are going on and sometimes less if I make decent money faster. Sometimes if I am well off I will take a few weeks off. So it does depend but of course I make money at it but I had to clock as many as 14 hours a day at first for 6 months (with a few days off here and there) in order to learn this game I have passion for. It really depends on what type of person he is, seek a relationship therapist.
It sounds like you have trust issues which may stem from him not being loyal in the past, or you are a extremely insecure person who doesn't feel like a good person. So you ask yourself, "Why would he be with me!?" "He has to be seeing someone else, because I'm not good enough!". I suggest you seek a relationship therapist, I mean if he isn't losing and it is a passion of his well I say let him be. If he is losing thousands of dollars and flirting with random women online well you should probably just end it. If it is somewhere in between make a attempt to save the relationship with solid effort.
If he has never cheated, and he is just flirting to have fun and make some money. Well sounds like you have the issues and you need help. You are making him the problem because you and accept the truth about yourself.
But honestly you sound like the type of person, who thinks someone who puts 25 dollars in a slot machine is a addict just the same as someone who empties their bank accounts and break their family to play slot Machines. (I used to work in casino security and believe me when I say it happens, did you know women are 54% more likely to be gambling addicts then men?) Or someone who drinks 5 beers a month is a drunk compared to someone who drinks a gallon of vodka a day and beat his wife.
There is always a gray area, that you need to accept.
Hope this helps.
Also are you really actually concerned about how much time your husband is spending playing poker online or is your real concern the sexual nature of the chat that is happening at the poker room site? Have you caught him engaging in this sexual chatting in the chat room or have you just seen other players doing it? If you have caught him chatting like that to other people then sit him down and explain to him that you feel that behaviour is not acceptable for a married man and that you would like for that kind of chatting to cease immediately as you feel it is a form of deception by him. If he does not agree to stop the chatting then he doesn't deserve your worry in the first place. He probably really enjoys playing poker online so don't try to make him stop it unless he legitimately has a gambling problem and is losing enough money for it to be causing financial worry or strain on your both. If he is at the point where he is spending money on poker rather than on the bills that are due then it is time you take drastic action and he does need some professional help for his addiction. If he isn't participating in the adult content chat then just leave him be unless his gambling really is an addiction. If he has engaged in this chat then just sit with him when he plays, tell him how much it interests you and that you want to watch and learn. He won't be doing it in front of you I'm guessing but if he does then kick him out he's not worth it, and if someone starts that kind of chat with him whilst you are there with him then confront him about it, not in a angry way to start conflict but certainly not in a shy way either, be stern in what you want and make sure he understands that you will not tolerate this behaviour. If all else fails maybe go for the whole if you can't beat them join them thing and see how he likes it.
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