Top Tier Tips: The devils in the details

• ■T3 Mailbox

by WiNGSPANTT - Feb 15, 201116 1533

Reach 51 to unlock the "born rich" perk.

Do you have a personal disaster you’re unable to solve?
Ask Top Tier Tips for life-changing, semi-legal personal advice.
New questions are answered every week; submit yours today!

Murderous Mistakes

Dear TTT,

What Are The Best Classes For Manhunt.
Offence And  Defence

-Jordan

Dear Jordan,

Thanks for writing in. Let me start my reply by saying… what?!?

I know I never claimed to be perfect in Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, but as far as I can tell, having played the game for hundreds of hours, there are no classes in AC:B. There are Personas, Abilities, Perks, and Streaks, but nothing that could be considered a class, other than perhaps “the roof-running idiot.”

Starting with Personas, each Persona is just a character skin, meaning it’s an aesthetic choice with no impact on your capabilities. I suppose that in the broadest sense, a few skins confer a slight strategic advantage; the Smuggler, Prowler, and Courtesan skins can all look similar from far away, especially if you paint their outfits grey or brown. To that effect, you might gain a small lead over opponents playing in SD who are unable to tell the difference from across il pilazzo.

If you’re talking about skills and abilities, why don’t you check out my Brotherhood multiplayer strategy articles, starting with Part 1? In general, though, you want skills that will let you perform your role (either surviving/stunning or tracking/hunting) and perks that ensure a higher score based on your strategy and personal ability.

If you meant actual classes, I suppose signing up for intro-level courses at your local community college might help, depending on the subject matter. May I suggest Law Enforcement Techniques (criminal justice), Game Theory (math), or Murders and Executions (business)?

Cheers,
WiNGSPANTT

Mighty Morphin Power Blunders

Dear Mr WiNG

As I walked past a child today, I said to him “I’m the red fucking power ranger, and you aren’t!”. He then told me that I “weren’t not him” and then told me that I sucked. I proceeded to tell this boy that I AM the red power ranger, or I’m the white one when he’s on, AND I told him he should respect me because I invented bananas.

This little shit told me he’ll get Zordon (the huge cancer patient who lives in a glass tube) onto me, and now I fear for my life. What am I to do?

-Not WiNG, again

Dear Not WiNG, again,

If you’re up against Zordon and the Power Rangers (of the original Mighty Morphin variety, none of that Time Force Universe Cop bullshit), here are some ways you can take down the teenage team without even breaking a nail:

• Send more than one monster: For fuck’s sake, if you can create monsters out of clay, send 100 at once! The Power Rangers usually barely defeated single enemies; what chance would they have against an entire army?
• Send the monsters somewhere new: Here’s a crazy idea… if you know the Power Rangers live in Angel Grove, California, send your monsters to anywhere in the world that isn’t Angel Grove, CA. After all, you’re trying to conquer Earth, not a single suburb on America’s west coast, right? The fight is a lot easier for the Rangers when they don’t have to spend 12 hours traveling to Beirut to fight your (now 100-strong) force.
• Start off with the monsters big: The Power Pansies need to call on dormant robots that take minutes to show up and assemble to beat giants. You just need to wave a wand to create them. What will the Rangers do when, by the time they’ve arrived, your Godzilla-sized army has already destroyed Paris, London, and Santa’s workshop? Sure, they might win, but at what cost?

While these techniques may not directly help you defeat a small child; use your imagination. To him, you’re already a giant. Just pick up some friends and torch his house when he’s at school.* The more you know!

Cheers,
WiNGSPANTT

Power PC Gaming

Dear Top Tier Tactics,

Could you recommend some good PC games to play? What are your favorites, what has good replay value, what is a “must-play” game etc.

-Z

Dear Z,

What a delightful, well-composed question. Here are some of my favorite PC games of all time (of all time!):

• Team Fortress 2: cheap, fun, great community, and I heard some nice guy deleted his rare item for charity
• Portal: hilarious, intriguing, and original, Portal spawned a thousand memes (and soon, a sequel)
• Homeworld/Homeworld 2: A gorgeous RTS with a touching story, great scope, and truly 3-dimensional gameplay
• Starcraft 2: fun for beginners and seriously competitive pros, there’s a reason the Koreans made this their sport
• Monkey Island series: Whether you dig up an old copy or the new special editions, the humor and puzzles are timeless
• GRID: Simply put, you will not play a racing game with more style, presentation, and sense of speed for under $15
• Spore: Just kidding; Spore is terrible.
• The Longest Journey: An adventure game that was willing to eschew convention and create two unique worlds

Hope this helps. Perhaps some savvy readers can share their must-play PC games list in the comments section?

Cheers,
WiNGSPANTT

*Or, you know, don’t. I mean, it’s your jail time.