10 Reasons Mass Effect 3 May Disappoint

Mass Effect 3 Shortcomings

All the internet is abuzz with the impending release of BioWare-EA’s juggernaut RPG Mass Effect 3. All the internet? No. On the fringe of civilization, in the rough and infernally cold country of Germany there’s one videogame writer who resists the temptation. He just can’t be brought to give a damn about what BioWare has cooking.

While the first Mass Effect game set out to create an intricately designed universe, the second game flew into a direction of more gunplay, less interesting environments and worst of all went against some of the established canon. All things considered that are known about Mass Effect 3 at this point, hope is low for our lone German deviant that the game will deliver anything for him that is not cringe inducing.

Here are the reasons he gives.

10: Everything and the Kitchen Sink

Mass Effect used to have enough originality in it to matter, to be more than the sum of its parts which have been borrowed and gotten inspiration from all over the sci-fi writing of the past centuries. But when the internal consistencies flew overboard during the course of Mass Effect 2, when that game then ended with that ridiculous reveal mentioned in #1 the seams burst and the franchise being made up from cliches and tropes from other, better sci-fi writing became gratingly clear.

9: Nothing Matters

Through some slips of tounges and leaked scripts one of the key tenants of the Mass Effect franchise seems to have been thrown overboard. Even when importing old save files from the other games, nothing the player did will matter in Mass Effect 3 eventually. Because it’s in the script. And the idea of carrying choices over from other games is soo last decade.  

8: The Dirtball

Another personal thing. Mass Effect for me was always a series about strange new planets, far out on the fringe of settled space. Now we’re going to Earth. Which is something I don’t have a lot of interest in. Earth in such a high science fiction setting tends to be drab and boring. The fact that this particular one will be mostly in ruins doesn’t make it more interesting. Because, wow, Earth in ruins has been done to death and then some in the past years in gaming.  

7: Sexy EDI Six

The Normandy’s AI, voiced by Tricia Helfer of Battlestar Galactica fame, gets a robot body in Mass Effect 3. Also, she will obviously be romancable. Not only is the “sexy AI trope”old and boring, but also utterly unnecessary. EDI was a fine side character the way she was. Adding an awkward side story where nerdy pilot Joker and the robot girl get it on is really nothing that sells the game to me in any perceivable way.

6: Something for Everyone

This may just be another marketing ploy, but so far it appears that Mass Effect 3 goes stronger than ever in the direction of an all out action game with some branching dialogs tacked on. Given that none of the past games could convince me to like the action on itself (there are just much better action games out there) I’m not really convinced here either. It appears EA is shooting for the lowest common denominator, targeting the Gears crowd, at least with the way they make Mass Effect 3 appear in trailers and marketing. Sadly that door swings both ways. 

5: Multiplayer

Running with the mantra that everything sells better with multiplayer added, Mass Effect 3 is the first entry into the best selling series of formerly single player games that suddenly adds an online component. I never care for those, and I admit this is a very personal reason, but I play Mass Effect as a single player game. And that part usually suffers from having the developer split resources to do multiplayer. Also I resent the “everything must have multiplayer”so for me it’s a matter of principle. 

4: DLC

This might be an adjunct to #3, yet it’s a very special kind of evil. Mass Effect 3 might go down in history as the one game with DLC tied to everything from toys to art books, preorders and franchise themed beverages. In two words: Utter madness. 

3: Marketing Shenanigans

Giving Battlefield 3 out along with the game, shooting the game into space and other insane stunts from EA’s infamous marketing department. It’s not quite as horrid as Homefront’s ludicrous PR campaign, but it shows that EA is a bit too desperate to sell this title which doesn’t speak for the publisher’s confidence.  

2:  The Ashley Makeover

Granted some people change over time. Why Ashley Williams had to turn into a full blown bimbo all of a sudden is a design decision that is beyond me.  

1: The Human Reaper

Seriously. The thing that retroactively devalued the entire gameplay experience. It’s akin to a TV series hinging on one big mystery where the mystery turns out to be really badly thought through bullshit in the series’final. That plot device was so poorly conceived that I have lost all interest in even trying to care for the franchise ever again.